Dear Beloved Tivo in my bedroom,
You know how much I love and value you, you bring me quiet time at the end of a loud, tiring day. I just can't seem to figure out why you continue to suggest The Golden Girls as something I should watch. Is it because I watch Sex and the City and the two shows are so similiar? You know, Blanche is Samantha, Rose is Charlotte, Dorothy is Carrie and the old lady is Miranda? Because they are not alike and I do not want to watch The Golden Girls. Please stop recording it because I will fire you. (I will never fire you. I love you so much.)
I heart Tivo, not The Golden Girls
Speaking of television, I just wanted to send a note of gratitude to you for the incredible, quality TV you offer. From What not to Wear, The Real Deal, Little People Big World, Miami Ink and my new favorite Jon and Kate plus 8. You make me very happy, all tucked in my bed at night.
bff to tlc
Dear Neighbor Across the Street,
Would you please, for one day, not do yard work? I admire your passion, and know how important it is to not have a single weed growing anywhere and also the importance of sweeping every single blade of cut grass off of your very clean and tidy sidewalk, but you are making my house look like a whore house, and I don't appreciate that at all.
Too Busy for Yardwork
Dear Neighbor Next Door,
I know you saw me wearing the same shirt two days in a row and I'd appreciate it if you did not judge me. Because I do wear deoderant and I even get a shower in, once and while.
(please don't tell anyone, I want everyone to like me.)
I need more graphic tees
Dear Maker of Bratz Dolls,
Please stop making them.
Agree? Go here.
Bratz Dollz Haterz
Dear 5K Walk I am planning for this year,
Please be gentle with me. I am very busy already and can't believe I've added this to my Platter of Stuff To Do, but this is a great fundraiser for a great cause, so please, let the sponsors fall from the sky and the runners come from all over the universe.
Dear Super Uber Mom of the Year at Ariel's Preschool,
I know I've mentioned you before in my blawg, but I have to address your behavior again. I really appreciate the lovely pink bags you distributed full of nice hard candy and chewy, sugary snacks and play-doh to Ariel's class for your daugher's birthday, oh, not to mention the bright pink donuts from Ariel's favorite donut store, but did you have to include these? Because everytime I hear it, I think I'm being chased by a wild, lunatic goose, and it just isn't fun. Luckily, Ariel is invited to your daughter's birthday party at a dance studio on Monday. I'll be giving your daughter a set of drums.
The lazy, irritable mother.