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« Our Home | Main | Beth »

June 30, 2008

Comments

Mary C

Excellent post, Brian! Good luck with the move and the travel. Can't wait to see pictures of your new digs!

Kellyn

Nicely done Brian!! Welcome to the blogging world!!

My husband travels about three times a year for work, for two weeks at a time. The time he is away is hard, but very much worth the experience he gets while gone. It also makes me realize how much I depend on him at home. I think I have become a beter partner to him since the travel began.

To Think Is To Create

Was that really from GI Joe? All this time everyone had been quoting a toy soldier? Wow, that's embarrassing.

crookedeyebrow

Way to go Brian!

It takes a strong person to maintain a work/life balance in the world today. It's tuff and some days it just plain sucks. But as you pointed out, it's a catch 22. Just the fact that you realize and acknowledge it is wonderful. But purse or iMac shopping for Beth doesn't hurt. (can I get an amen sista)

You two are wonderful. Congrats on the move and your first guest post.

Enjoy your pizza.

Jill

What a sweet, thoughtful husband!

Emily

Welcome Brian! Love the GI Joe wisdom!

lisa

i've been amazed by beth's strength, beauty,and courage since i have been reading here, and i have often wondered about you, her husband. what you were like? how were you dealing with the terrible sadness of losing your jake and james? after reading this, i feel like i got a glimpse of you...and i'm so glad she has a man like you!
hope the move goes smoothly.

Diane

Great job Brian! Best of luck to the both of you in the new house - before you know it the new home will be full of memories - and I hope only good ones!!

AT

Brian,

Good post! My husband has been in the Navy 18 years. We have spent a total 5 and a half years apart. One of those stints was during a very late term miscarraige. That was so hard on him. In some ways I think harder for him to be half way across the world and have to come to terms with the loss of the baby in the belly he kissed goodbye just 3 months earlier... It was a loong 6 months that followed. Instead of coming home to a new baby and his wife, he came home to his wife alone. It really is hard. But, life goes on, these babies live with us forever, we now have two happy healthy teenagers... And that causes a whole new set of deployment issues.. LOL

Adventures In Babywearing

"Not that I could do much about it if I were home, but I would certainly feel less helpless if I were sitting next to her."

I've felt the same way as Beth's friend- what could I possibly do to make things better? But just being near her and "there" has made me feel like I'm at least doing something.

I know it has to be so hard being a support in a financial way as well as emotionally, when your family is crumbling and needing you more than ever to just sit there and hold them. I only know what it's like to be the Mom. Thank you for sharing your heart as the Dad.

Love,
Steph

thotlady

I hope the move goes well. We will miss you but I am sure your guest writers will do fine.

Good post Brian.

staciesmadness

congrats on the new home...

and I agree, life is a bunch of catch 22s...good luck in balancing it all!!

Tiffany

That must be some damn good pizza:) Balancing the working and the home is hard, I liken it to a dog chasing it's tale, you just wonder if we're gonna pull out of the spin soon.. Congrats on the move!

mandy

We have difficulty with out of town trips over here too. We went several years without us being apart a single night. For me, they get easier...but I am sure it's lonely being away from home. However, myself? I'd pay someone else to let me go on a business trip! So, now when my husband goes out of town, I am mostly jealous and not as sad as I used to be. Luckily, it isn't frequent.
I hope it gets easier for you both!

RubiaLala

Life seems like one giant catch 22 sometimes, doesn't it? Wait, I just read some of the other comments and everyone is saying that. Let's try to think of something original. Try this:

I think the sign of a good parent is someone who does worry about stuff like this. Because a bad parent wouldn't care at all how much time they spent with their kids. I am sure your kids know how much you love them and how much you would rather be spending time with them than going on trips. And on the off chance they don't know it, they now have this blog to reassure them.

Nice writing Brian. I hope to hear from you again.

Lora

Congrats on the new house and good luck with the move!!!

Tina

Nice blog Brian! Blogger Brian! It was so nice to hear from the man/husband's perspective. Good luck with the move!!

Melissa

Very well-said Brian. My hubby is works out of town for 2-4 weeks at a time. It is a constant struggle for me to take care of the 4 kids and everything else all alone, but I do know he is doing the best he can to provide for this family and know that he would rather not be away either. It is hard to find and maintain that balance... just take things as they come. :o)

Rene

Great post! I could never, in a million years and with 2 million pounds of pizza, persuade my hubby to take part in my blogging. I'm very proud of you and Beth is certainly blessed to have a man like you (even though she did have to bribe you) ;-)

Thea @ I'm a Drama Mama

What a great post, Brian! Maybe we'll be hearing from you again?

Good luck this week. I hope everything goes O.K.!!

Amy

What a great post Brian. Thanks for giving me a peek into the mind of a man who has lost children. My husband and I lost our little girl in Nov. and though we could both agree that it was different for me than for him I still felt guitly for thinking it was harder on me than him. Seeing it from an outside perspective has helped ease the guilt.

SarahC

Great Post Brian! I especially loved the quote from GI Joe. Did you know they're making a movie?
Try not to feel too guilty about your trips. It sounds like you haven't crossed the line into being a work-obsessed dad, and you have one heck of a wife to pick up the slack.

Tracy F

Brian,

It is so great hearing from you!! Although I am not the bread winner in my family, I understand all too well the judgling act of life and work. I just went back this year to teaching and put my all into it. Unfortunately, my children and David have suffered this year. Although, I will say they have survived without me very well, I miss so many aspects of being a stay at home mom. Hopefully, next year I will learn to balance better. Good luck to you and figuring it all out. It sounds like you are doing a great job so far.

To both of you, I hope the move goes smoothly. I can't wait for pictures!

Kirsten

Welcome Brian! I think you did a fantastic job on your first foray into the blogging world. Even though I don't blog (although I have contemplated it), I love seeing both sides of a relationship blogging. It's perspective that you wouldn't otherwise have. I hope you venture out here more often.
Kirsten

momgenerations

Dear Brian,

Your post is wonderful... honest and powerfully written.

My dad was in the Navy when I was young, and I distinctly remember him going "out-to-sea" for months at a time. My mom was always strong for me and my brothers, and we always had lots of things to do (my mom's way of passing the time!)... but there are many times when I heard her crying in the next room. I want to cry just thinking about it. I also remember when the ships came back to shore and all the moms and kids and families would wait at the docks for hours and hours until their husband/dad/son came in on one of the smaller boats. Then the celebrating began. My dad was a man with great big strong hugs and kisses... and that is what I remember. Even more than him being away, I remember him returning.

My husband was a teacher and guidance counselor for many years, so her did not have business or service trips... but once, when my daughter Jane was 4 years old (she is now 27!), he went on a conference in Cape Cod. Well, you would have thought he was going away for 10 years the way she cried and cried. I took the kids to Papa Gino's for pizza (ah, a girl after your own heart!) just to take her mind off of her dad. She LOVED the juke box, too, so I gave her mega-quarters and let her rip her tunes. Well, STUCK ON YOU by Lionel Richie was BIG at the time... and she played it... and sobbed and sobbed, saying that the song reminded her of her dad. She told me that night that she was going to dance to that song at her wedding with him... and on December 4, 2004, she did. By then everyone in our family knew the story... so everyone just cried and cried during the dance. Tears of joy and tears for the little girl who so loved her daddy.

Beth is a remarkable woman... I love her dearly. I am so happy to know you through your beautiful words. You are a perfect husband and daddy... and your magnificent little children and Beth are very lucky people! And pretty soon, Ariel will be picking out her own daughter/daddy dance song. Ah...

Much love,
Sharon


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