We were not trying to get pregnant when I became pregnant this time around. In fact, I was trying not to get pregnant. I was struggling with thyroid problems and had been told by my endocrinologist and my general physician that I should do everything possible to avoid getting pregnant as a pregnancy would not survive with my thyroid levels.
I thought I had counted out my days properly for ovulation, but apparently I have difficulty either counting or understanding the rules of ovulation...because I became pregnant. Obviously.
In the middle of 2007, Brian and I had decided that another child was indeed in our future, we just were not sure when. We thought maybe sometime in 2008 would be good for getting pregnant. Yep, that was our plan.
It was some time before my period was due in November, long enough before it was due that I wasn't even thinking about my period, that my boobs began to hurt. They hurt real bad. I blew it off as a symptom of my cycle or maybe my hormone imbalance from my thyroid levels being off. Then one day after lunch, while the kids were awake, I actually laid down on my couch and took a nap. I had never done that before. Still, I never once thought that I could be pregnant.
The day after I fell asleep, leaving my kids unsupervised, I was folding laundry after dinner. I started to think of my cycle and when I was due for my period, because, damn, my boobs HURT. I realized I was only three days from starting, but I was consistently two days early every month, so I should start the following day.
And then the thought ran across my mind...could I be pregnant? Certainly not as I had "diligently" counted out the days of my ovulation and we certainly avoided conception during that time. Hadn't we? But the thought nagged me more and more with each article of clothing I folded. I remembered I had a pregnancy test left over from months ago. I told Brian I was going to take it, he just laughed at me because that's what he does when I say I'm going to take a pregnancy test. (we'll call it "nervous laughter.")
So, I took the test, put it on my counter and it told me I was pregnant. Immediately - three days before my period was even due.
I was stunned and in denial. Brian was in the living room with the kids, I stuck my head out of the bedroom door and said something profound and romantic like "ummmmmmm...hello??? uhhhh???? yes????" Because I could not say the words. He finally caught on to my word jumble and said "NO WAY!" And he seemed excited and he hugged me and I was like "I'm sure it's wrong, I'll go buy another test."
He laughed again.
And laughed again when he realized I was serious when I put on my coat. I did call my sister, Sarah, and tell her, because that's what I do. She told me I was crazy for thinking it could be wrong. I thought she was crazy for thinking it was right.
So, off I went, to Walgreens for two more tests.
They were positive.
As soon as the positive line showed up I feared the worse, thanks to the warnings of my doctor's. I called my endo the following day and she ordered a full thyroid work up, and although my levels were still not normal, they were much, much better from just two weeks before. It took me about a week to get even a little excited about the
pregnancy because I was sure my thyroid levels would not allow the
pregnancy to progress.
But they did and they continue to be stable. Thank God.
When I reflect back on those first days of finding out about the pregnancy and being a little scared about the change that is sure to come, I'm always amazed at how easily "the pregnancy" becomes your child. How, as a mother, you instinctively begin to nurture and love this tiny being inside of you, from the moment you see the line on a test. And how with each passing day, as your body grows and your symptoms increase, this baby inside of you, is yours. And you'll do anything to protect it.
And even with morning sickness, fatigue, crazy hormones, having to give up coffee, not wanting to eat nachos anymore and just being uncomfortable, I can't help but feel so lucky to be able to be in the situation I'm in right now.
It's pretty awesome, if you ask me.
*okay, so what I did not mention is that this past Friday, as in on 2/22, I had blood drawn to have my thyroid checked, again. Would you believe that 15 minutes after I hit publish on this post, my GP's office called regarding my results. They need me to come in today to discuss what came back, which was abnormal levels. (whether they were high or low, I have no idea) SO - to say I'm freaking out would be an understatement. I've called my OB to fill her in, hopefully we can check on the babies today, too. Please, if you pray, say a prayer or send positive thoughts that all is well inside this belly of mine.
