oh, Apple. You slay me.

This past January, Brian changed his work schedule to get home from work at four, rather than almost 6:30, which means one very important thing: I lost my excuse not to exercise.

Why is he trying to ruin my life??

So, I've started exercising. 

I know, I know.  Some of you are yelling at your screens NO, BETH, DON'T DO IT.  SIT DOWN.  EAT ICE CREAM.  WE LOVE READING ABOUT YOUR EXCESS SKIN HANGING OVER YOUR JEANS. and yes, I do want to listen to you because not exercising is so freakin' easy.  But last Saturday morning I woke up and decided that no matter what I did on that day, I had to go for a walk.

Last summer, I walked for exercise quite a bit and sometimes I even forced myself to run (when I really wanted to torture myself, I never did run very far) and I was very inspired by my iPod nano.  I learned that if you had an iPod nano, you could purchase the Nike Plus running kit to go along with it, which contains sensors and crap (one that goes in your shoe and one that connects to your iPod) and then it will keep track of your distance, your pace and how long you ran.  (in my case, I mostly walk.  Unless I am running towards ice cream, than I am ALL OVER IT.)  The device is genius.  My sister has the same device and one bright, sunny day she challenged me through the Nike website.  I was all like it's on.  bring it. But I didn't bring it.  And neither did she.  But it was fun while it lasted.

Here's a visual I made for you to better explain how it works:

Then I got pregnant.

Then this past February I went to turn on my iPod to listen to some Snoop Dogg (fo' shizzle) and my iPod just sat there and never turned on.  It was dead.  So, after much investigating I bought the ridiculously sleek, the ridiculously expensive iTouch - it's awesome.  It's one thing to listen to Snoop whenever I please, it's another to be able to watch his videos whenever I please.  However, I lost my excitement for the iTouch just two days after I purchased it because it was then that I lost James and Jake.   It sat in my purse with all of my crumpled kleenex and old Coldstone receipts. So, this Saturday I broke out my sleek and expensive iTouch and my Nike Plus sensor, I plugged the sensor into my iTouch and guess what? The Nike device is not compatible with the iTouch.  Which is crazy for about 1000 reasons, but mostly because I paid sixty bajillion dollars for a damn mp3 players made by the same maker (APPLE!) that makes the less expensive Nano, but the most expensive version is not compatible with the Nike device made just for Apple mp3 players?? 

But I NEEEEEEEEEEDED this device because it's soooooooooo motivating.  I mean, how in the world would I know how long I was walking?  A stopwatch?  A pedometer? 

How prehistoric of you.

So, Saturday night, Brian, the kids and I traveled to Target and it just so happens the 4 gig nano was on sale.  Brian bought it.  Apparently he's not a big fan of the belly hanging over the jeans look.  whatever.

Then, Saturday night I challenged my sister Sarah to a challenge, the challenge is "who can walk the most miles in 30 days."  And I was all like IT'S ON!  BRING IT! and she was all like dammit.

(OH MY GOD - THIS IS THE LONGEST STORY EVER.)

On Sunday I was all yoga panted and sports bra'd up when I plugged in my Nike device to my new iPod and the Nike device was dead.  I was totally pissed.  Which means I had to buy new Nike sensors, because there is no battery replacing in these things.  I'm spending all of this money on exercising, how in the hell was I going to afford all of my ice cream?

Priorities.

I hopped in my minivan and drove to Target, bought the device, came home, walked and downloaded my walk stats by plugging in my new nano into my computer.  My sister walked, too.  Then the next day, she walked before work, which is way more dedicated then me, if I had to walk in the morning, I would be like SURPRISE!  YOU WON!!   But we have been neck and neck each day.  It's awesome because I'm going to win (yes I am) and it's awesome because we are totally exercising, you know, like the amount recommended by doctors and stuff.  Just last week I was sitting in my doctor's office watching some WebMd show and they were saying something crazy like "it is recommended that you exercise for 30 minutes, five times a week."  Which is totally ludicrous if you ask me, but you know, I'm not a doctor.  I'm just lazy.

Until now.  Now I'm going to walk EVERYDAY for many hours a day because I must win.  and now my other sister is in on the challenge and my mother and soon you will be able to see our progress on my sidebar.  Aren't you excited? 

I am. 

It's on.  Bring it.

Unless I lose, then we'll just pretend I never mentioned anything.

Comments

[Michelle]

Well now that you've posted it on the internet, you can't just pretend that this didn't happen. What incredible fun to involve the whole family....but damn Apple and Nike have one sweet racket going with the gizmos. (Although I completely see the point and urgency of the gizmos)

[Mari Ickes]

I think the nike website thingy is so cool too! I don't use it. I have the nano (love my dixie chics to work out with), but I HATE to run. I guess I never thought of walking... I use the eliptical machine, and the nike thingy doesn't work on that. We tried it.
My husband occasionally runs, and he got the nike thing to track his runs...until it ran out of batteries too!!! We haven't replaced it yet.

[Thea @ I'm a Drama Mama]

Oh my gosh, how frustrating!

I so need a challenge...

[Mel]

Oh my gosh I want in on this...maybe we should start a competition. I gotto go get this nike+ thing.

[Mel]

Can you use any shoes or only the nike plus shoes? I think I just found my birthday request!!!

[Miss Britt]

That is GENIUS! (The competition, not the apple crap - my gajillion $$ iPhone is not compatible with any of my iPod devices. Even though it is "totally an iPod but BETTER". Bastards.)

[Becky]

I'm with you, Beth. I'm gonna do it!

[motomom]

I live right by the Nike World Campus. I watch the runners who work there as I drive by on my way to and from work. Close enough to exercise for me.

[girlymama]

apple, you slay me. they have such a scam going. and i SOOO buy into it. EVERY. TIME.

this post had me practically crying with laughter. and i'm so glad that other moms have things like snoop on their ipods. maybe i'm not the only white, minivan-driving mom who has little white kids that sing along with usher.

[Sarah B.]

Love it, love my nike+, love your competition and enthusiasm.

Ahem. Take 'em down.

[crookedeyebrow]

oooo i love it.
and I secretly drooled over a nano and the nike sensor this week at Target.

* and this post made me want to hug you, it just did...*

[Frances]

2 weeks ago my doc informed me that I HAD to get back to the exercising so I told the hubby that if I had to, he did too. I have a ipod shuffle already and was all like "Hmmm....only if you get me a shuffle too!" WHAAAA??? So I did. They were on sale too because they are replacing the 1GB with a 2GB model, but he didn't care. I think he was just glad that he didn't get a purple one. Good luck on your challenge and you can consider me one of your virtual cheerleaders.

[Amy F.]

I can't believe you had to drop so much money (different times) on the ipod/nike stuff. This technology is a little beyond me. I have an ipod shuffle and I barely know how to download songs onto it. I've been thinking about getting the shoes you've mentioned though...wonder if they're still on sale at Dick's?

You are so freakin' hilarious in this post. You are "bringin' it" in this entry. "I was all yoga pant'd and sports bra'd up" hahaha. Are you training for the walk? You guys have a 6-mile one, while ours is only 4. Mike keeps saying he's going to win it. :-)

[elle]

First, no Snoop on my iPod, but luuurves me some Eminem. And second... damn you woman! I had to check that thing out and went out and bought me one. Then I started thinking I should have ordered two. One for me and one for the trusty husband and then I could have challenged him and smoked his ass. Check back with me in 5-7 business days to see if that thing is collecting dust.

[ok, where was I]

This was so funny.

[SarahC]

If you ever need someone to walk with let me know. I'm supposed to be training for the 2-day Cancer walk that I'm doing with Jen in May. I've mostly been eating cookies. Give me a call. We'll walk...and maybe get ice cream after.

[Chrissy Witt]

Goooooooooooogooooooooooo girl! Get it, get that prize.........WIN!!!!

[To Think Is To Create]

I'd love to know where you walk, because the lack of very many sidewalks other than in the tiny neighborhoods is kinda annoying.

[Megan (FriedOkra)]

I should totally be doing that too. I used to walk 3 miles 5x a week. I always blame the cold, but it's plenty warm enough now. YOU GO. Keep talking about it so I'll feel embarrassed and get my bummy out there, too.

[Amber]

I had no idea those Nike things existed. That is really cool. I hope you kick major tail!! :D

[Erika]

*snort*

love it.

[crookedeyebrow]

I think the nike and the nano are gonna be on my wish list the more I think about it.

You planted the seed...

well you know what I mean...

:D

[Kate]

Funny post! I'm definitely going to look into these items!! I fuhreaking H.A.T.E. walking though, but a competition would be fun.

[PamperingBeki]

Oh I'm excited for you!! I love walking for exercise. :)

[staciesmadness]

you make me giggle, thank you.