Nine years ago, right now, I was at the salon with my bridesmaids and mother, Brian was golfing with his family.
It was a typical wedding day.
Do you ever wonder what you would do differently, if given a chance? I typically don't think of such things, as I do my best not to regret anything or question any decision I ever made in the past. But this year? If I could go back in time, I would tell that girl planning her wedding to keep it simple.
Since losing James and Jake, I see pictures of myself years, months, days before losing them. And I want to cry out "watch out, tread carefully...life will not always feel this good."
I wish I could sit down with myself back when the wedding planning began, I wonder what I would say to myself?
Just be simple. Because years from now, life is not going to be simple, it's going to be so difficult you'll cry more tears than you ever did as a child. And you won't be crying because someone hit you or someone stole your stuffed dog, you'll be crying because your heart will feel the most intense pain and loss you could have ever imagined. Life will not be simple, it's going to be hard. You and your future husband will experience what it's like to fight through a marriage, you'll suffer a loss so huge you won't know how to get out of bed each morning, but you will. Because of him, because of your children. Because you're you. The flowers, the cake, the dress, trust me, in the long run, those things do not matter. What matters is you and him, joining hands forever, facing the future prepared for whatever bumps or valley or roadblocks lay ahead. You'll be together, arms locked, fingers intertwined. I hope I have not made you fear your life together, by these warnings of sadness and grief, because there are many peaks, so much love and uncountable blessings.
Just tread carefully and don't be afraid to love with all of your heart and soul.
On this day, August 7th, 1999, the only thing that matters is what brought you here today, that and the life that lay ahead.
Happy anniversary! It is MY birthday...
Posted by: Amy | August 07, 2008 at 01:50 PM
Beth,
Happy Anniversary to you both. Your post is so true. Life has it challenges and as we all get older those challenges seem to be the harder challenges to get through. Marriage is also tough, but as you said, you have to remember the reasons why are married who you did. Becuase of him, yourself and those children that we make together. These days 9 years is a long time and you should be so proud of what you both have accomplished.
Have a great day!!! Hug your hubby and kids today and be thankful for what you have.
Love you!!!!!!
Posted by: Shantel | August 07, 2008 at 01:50 PM
Bravo, sweetie, bravo! And, congrats!
Posted by: Beth/Mom2TwoVikings | August 07, 2008 at 02:14 PM
Happy Anniversary...
I make wedding cakes on the side, just kind of for fun. And I wish so badly I could make some brides understand that the little things soooo don't matter..
But just being married 1 year myself, I would never have listened to someone tell me that it didnt matter. Now I wish I would have.. life is so much more than that day........
I hope this next year hold many joys and oppertunites for your family to grow even stronger...
Posted by: RYLEY | August 07, 2008 at 02:44 PM
Good post, Beth. So very true.
Congrats Beth and hubby...here's to many more!
Posted by: Alaina | August 07, 2008 at 02:55 PM
So True!!!! The wedding day details do not mean a thing if you are not ready and willing to fight for your love for the rest of your life!
Posted by: Brandy | August 07, 2008 at 03:01 PM
Happy Anniversary! Those are wise words that I wish more people would consider throughout life.
Posted by: TheAngelForever | August 07, 2008 at 03:02 PM
Geez girl, you gave me goosebumps...well-said. Happy Anniversary and I hope your marriage only gets stronger from here on out.
Posted by: Melissa | August 07, 2008 at 03:02 PM
Happy Anniversary. Wish I could say those same words to my twenty something self.
Posted by: anymommy | August 07, 2008 at 03:06 PM
Beth,
I actually had tears in my eyes...it could be the hormones. But, that is so beautiful and I totally agree. When you have found "the one", nothing material matters. I just wish I knew that when I was planning my wedding also. So beautifully written. I love it! Thanks for my daily cry. =)
Posted by: Jessie Z. | August 07, 2008 at 03:13 PM
Happy Anniversary! I love the post...you are wonderful with words!
A wedding day is somewhat weird...you spend 6+ months preparing, making sure every last detail is as close to perfect as possible, and in a mere 24 hours, the day has come and gone. Will anyone remember how YOU planned for everything to go? Probably not. You have noted perfectly the true meaning of your wedding day, and what it's meant to be, not what everyone says it should be.
Posted by: Angie | August 07, 2008 at 03:16 PM
Amazing...beautifully spoken. Happy Anniversary Beth and Brian. May this year bring you strength, love and many many blessings!!!
Posted by: kim | August 07, 2008 at 03:17 PM
Happy Anniversary! May this year be filled with so many of those simple pleasures.
Posted by: Franes | August 07, 2008 at 03:19 PM
Great post. Happy Anniversary!
Posted by: Marcea | August 07, 2008 at 03:41 PM
Happy anniversary! (I'm so glad I couldn't speak to my younger self - I probably would have made her so terrified she would never have left the house! Ignorance can truly be bliss!)
Posted by: Emily | August 07, 2008 at 03:52 PM
Happy Anniversary!
Posted by: Kristin | August 07, 2008 at 03:55 PM
Happy Anniversary!
I sometimes think about what I would tell my younger self if I could go back.
Great post!
Posted by: Midwest Mommy | August 07, 2008 at 04:18 PM
Congrats on 9 years! That's an accomplishment. Try to enjoy this day.
Posted by: SarahC | August 07, 2008 at 04:34 PM
Happy Anniversary Beth and Brian.
9 years down and so many more to go!
Enjoy your day.
*your self speech touched my heart, (pass the kleenex). I didn't have a big wedding, no dress, no bridemaids,nothing...I used to be upset about it but now I know all those little details are not the most important thing on that day. It's the love you have for each other.
Posted by: crookedeyebrow | August 07, 2008 at 04:49 PM
Happy Anniversary! And, so true. Keep the important things the important things. I could use that reminder myself lately.
Posted by: Heather | August 07, 2008 at 05:42 PM
Happy Anniversary!!!
My husband and I just celebrated 8 years on Tuesday and today is my hubby's b-day! What a great week of celebrations!
Posted by: Tina | August 07, 2008 at 05:55 PM
Beautiful Beth - just beautiful! You have such a way with words my dear. Happy Anniversary to both you and Brian and many more to come. Congrats!
Posted by: Lynette | August 07, 2008 at 07:09 PM
Happy Anniversary, Beth and Brian.
You guys are so lucky to have found each other. Life's ups and downs, no matter how high or how unbearably low, are always navigated so much easier with your best friend at your side.
Posted by: Thea @ I'm a Drama Mama | August 07, 2008 at 07:55 PM
Happy Anniversary!
Your post truly struck a chord today... as it is my son and daughter-in-law's 10th anniversary today! Today, as I looked at the photos from their beautiful wedding, I saw the joy and happiness and life and love. I saw all the people who were celebrating their joy... and in particular, I saw my mother-in-law, who just loves her family more than I could ever express. There she is in the photos... bigger than life with love and pride and LIFE. I thank God for these moments and these photos... for today my mother-in-law is holding on to her last days with us. But it is like you say... the sadness sometimes comes with the blessings, and we stand with arms intertwined.
The 10 years have also brought those newlyweds two beautiful children... I saw that in their eyes all those years ago. I truly did!
I wish you so much joy today. You already know how to count your blessings... and you know how to live and to love.
Celebrate with every fiber of your beings...
Much love,
Sharon
Posted by: Sharon - Mom Generations | August 07, 2008 at 09:07 PM
I hope you are having a good anniversary and time away. I'm thinking of you. And petunia is enjoying her stay, too.
Steph
Posted by: Adventures In Babywearing | August 07, 2008 at 10:06 PM