I Should Be Folding Laundry

American Idol--FINAL TWO

Okay...here we go.

What the heck is Randy wearing?  He has charms and gold and bling n' stuff.     dawg.

Where did Paula get all of that hair?  She looks like a dog.  and apparently she tripped on a dog last night and almost broke her nose.  Because she's always drunk.

And Ryan Seacrest just said "bitch." All of this in the first three minutes.  good times.

A coin toss.  How cute.  Do they do this every year?  I'm tired.

Blake Lewis--"You Give Love A Bad Name"  I loved this performance when he sang it the first time.  It's just as good, if not better.  He's pretty.  I do feel like he was a little flat and out of breath....and Simon agrees.

Jordin Sparks--"Fighter" I can't even stress how much I love her hair when it's straight like that.  So pretty.  just like Blakey.  well, not just like him.  But they're both pretty.  She sounds good. 
She's tall.

Blake Lewis--"She Will Be Loved"   I just think this song is boring, BUT, I think he sang it better than Maroon 5.  Well, maybe except for the one part when his voice cracked.  And WHEN WILL HE SING WITHOUT ALL OF THOSE SHIRTS ON???  I'm sick of it.

Jordin Sparks--"A Broken Wing"  I LOVE her outfit.  Very cute and her vocals were flawless.  Excellent.  I don't think I'm a huge fan of the song, but her voice really sounded good.  (Randy said she was flawless, too.  yo dawg)

Blake Lewis--"This is My Now." (a song written by some random people)  A ballad.  How sad for Blakey. Vocally he sounds really good.  I actually enjoyed this performance, at first it seemed awkward, but I liked it, although he did have some vocal snags.  He needs some lemon water or honey or something.    Maybe a juicy kiss would make him feel better. What?  I'm just trying to help.

Jordin Sparks--"This is My Now."  (a song written by some random people)  This song is much better when she sings it.  It's a vocal match.  Wow, she's crying on stage, she can't get through the song.   Is she disqualified now or something?  That would suck.

Who should win????  

As long as Sanjaya is gone...I don't care.

Okay, I honestly think Jordin should win.  Blake would be better off not winning.  And she is a better singer. 

We'll find out after a seven hour season finale tomorrow night.  Seacrest.  Out.

American Idol--Barry Gibb. oh boy, this show is going to be HOT.

I already feel like I'm at a wedding reception listening to "stayin' alive."

Wow, Barry went all Bob Barker and stopped coloring his hair, way to be natural, Bear Bear.

Alright, so we have four people left.  The end is near.  It was last year that Chris Daughtry was voted off with four people left.  That was ridiculous, seriously.  I mean, hello?  He was SO hot.

Melinda Doolittle--You know, I'd really like to wear the shirt she is wearing to Wicked on Friday.  I wonder where she bought it.  She sounds great, as usual, because she has an amazing voice, but this was not my most favorite performance.  She looked hot, tho', Dawg. 

What?!?!  They are singing twice tonight?  oh, bother.  Don't they know I have two blogs to write for?  And a grumbling stomach to listen to?

Blakey Lewis--The falsetto in the rehearsal does have me a little bit frightened.  He's awesome, though.  I LOVED last week's performance so much.  I like this version much better than the original, but I am not a fan of disco, so that is not saying much.  This was not my favorite performance, by any means.  I bet the judges would have liked his performance better if he had taken his shirt off.  Do doubt about it.

LaKisha Foster--Joooohhnnn Traaaavoooollltaaaa, where are you, you hunka burnin' love, you.  I don't like this song and I found myself checking e-mails during the song, which means I was a little bored.  I LOVED her hair, though.

Jordin Sparks--I'm totally loving her outfit tonight.  When I attempt to wear things like that, I get asked if the baby is due any day now.  I already like this song because it doesn't sound disco-like, which, have I mentioned I don't really enjoy disco music?  Because I do not really enjoy disco music, just to clarify.  I like this performance, wasn't my fave, but it was good.

oh, crap.  I just called to vote and accidentally called the porn hot line.  I hate that. (or do I?)

Melinda Doolittle, again--I LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE LOVE this song so very very very very very very much.  I love this song, I enjoyed the performance.  I have nothing negative to say.  I really loved this performance by Melinda...A LOT.   One of my all time favorites by her.

Blakey Lewis, again--I have never heard this song before, which is good.  Blake, why all the layers?  geeze, man.  Cut us some slack here.  That was a nice performance, it was definitely something different, his vocals were good.  Simon hates Blake tonight. 

KiKi Foster, again--Listening to the rehearsal, I think this is going to be good.  Holy Boobs, Batman, check those bad boys out.  I'm just jealous.  She's actually singing and it just sounds so wonderful, she really does have a nice voice.  I liked this performance quite a bit.

Jordin Sparks, again--Did she win a bet where she got the pick of the best songs for tonight??  Were they all looking at the same lists?  Jordin has picked pretty good songs and she has such lovely teeth.  She sounds good, maybe a few pitchy notes.

Who is going home?  LaKisha??

American Idol--Bon Jon Bon Jovi, or something

HERE WE GO!  SIX CONTESTANTS TO GO!

Let me just say that I really enjoyed last week's America Gives Back episode, not only because it raised eleventy gajillion dollars, but also because Seal was on the show and he is the greatest.  Can I get a witness??

Let's get on with it.

I see Ryan needs a good shavin' and Paula looks like a school teacher.

ahhh...slippery when wet.  I remember receiving their cassette when I was younger for Christmas.  Back when I had big bangs and big wings on the side of my head.  YAY HAIRSPRAY!!  GO AQUA NET!

Phil Stacey--So this is not country, how will he do?  Will he be wearing a hat on sideways?  Man, I hope not.  But this song sounds quite country.  He country-fied it.  how very very clever.  It wasn't too bad.  I did find myself staring off into space thinking about Baskin Robbins, but that doesn't mean it was bad, I just lost interest, is all. 

I want to take a brown crayola marker and draw hair on his head.  That would be fun fun fun!!  I would do long hair and little curls and maybe even a little blue bow. 

Ouchie--Simon just predicted his departure.  Thems fightin' words.

Jordin Sparks--Hot rocker chick, check her out!  Unfortunately for Jordin, I do not like this performance at all, I think I sang this song at a karaoke bar once and we sorta sounded alike and the lights and the slight head banging just looked awkward.  And is she flat?  I mean her voice, y'all.  hmmm...Baskin Robbins, did you hear about their new Reese's Peanut Butter Cup Shakes??  YUM! YUM!

LaKisha Foster--I would never wear a huge red band around my belly.  That would not be a good thing.   Jon Bon Jovi just said this is going to be a good performance.  I hope it gets MUUUUCH better than the start of the song.  Well, it did get better, much stronger, lovely.  Oh no, Simon and KiKi just made out on TV.

Blake Richardson--He colored his hair.  And last week Boomama pointed out the he doesn't blink when he sings and someone else pointed out that his mouth turns into a perfect "O" and you can't see his teeth.  So, I need to focus on his performance. 

LOVED.IT.  that's all I'm going to say.  I REALLY ENJOYED his performance a lot. ROCKIN'!!!!  AWESOME!   That's all I'm going to say.  I will be re-watching this performance. 

Chris Richardson--I have winced at three different points in this song because some of the notes he has sung he did not hit.  And it hurts my ears.    Oh my gosh, did you notice I didn't even mention Blake taking his shirt off, not even one time?  There is a first time for everything.  ugh, Chris is still singing.  I was bored.

Melinda Dolittle--Geeze, she actually looks HOT tonight!!  Neck or no neck, she looks so good!  I do like this performance, but her voice sounds funny to me, like she's singing from her throat.  Does that make any sense whatsoever??  She has fantastic skin. 

Who is going home?  Two people--Chris, Jordin or Phil

Who is staying? Everyone else.

American Idol--Compassion and hope

For the first time this season, I can watch this show without throwing things at the TV whenever Sanjaya shows up on the screen.  What a relief.

Let's just hope he doesn't appear in the audience.  I am armed, if necessary.

What could possibly take one hour, there's only six people left??   oh.  Idol gives back.  Right.

Unfortunately, I am watching this after the voting ended, usually I would be upset, but since Sanjaya is gone, I'm none too stressed.  But if Blake gets voted off, watch out, sistuh.

Chris Richardson--Last week he said "nasally" was a form of singng and well, that really irritated me, so Mr. Richardson is on my list, but he sounds pretty good, do you think he sounded good?  Do you?  I said, DO YOU?!?!?!  ANSWER ME!!!  Why you gotta act all rude and not answer me?  Okay, he just stood up and started breaking it down a bit and he sounds better, not too bad, Chris. How shocking, Paula is proud.

Oh, good news!  I can vote, they're doubling the time!  HOORAY!! (dog-gone-it) Where's my phone?   I can't wait to start dialing numbers!! (I can't believe I have to get up.) Time to vote!!  (time to vote for Blakey and Melinda.)

Melinda Dolittle--I LOVE her hair.  What a lovely wrap dress.  As usual, she just sounds so good.  I love it.  She's saucy and with all of the blingity bling bling goodness all over her neck, I barely notice how teeny tiny her neck is.  I'm so glad Simon asked her to stop being surprised, what a difference! 

Blakey Lewis--A jacket?  You've got to be kidding me?  I like his hair.  And I love John Lennon.  "Imagine Blake with out a shirt on.  It's easy if you try." Sing it with me now.  oh wait.  Blake's turn.  I think he sounds really nice.  You know what?  His voice is really, really unique.  I enjoyed this performance, although it was little safe.

LaKisha Jones--This girl is due for a nice, strong performance, in my opinion.  Now, I KNOW she is a good singer, and I love how she looks, but why do I feel like she is yelling at me??  I LOVE LOVE LOVE it when Simon tells the audience to shut up.  It's my fave.  Not such a hot performance.

Phil Stacey--Awww...the next sad person to be voted off.  Poor guy.  Thankfully he is not wearing a hat.  Score one point for Philly.  I KNEW he was going to sing a country song.  Smart move, Stacey.  He really sounds like a good singer, you know, like someone with talent.   I actually thought it was good!  Even though he still looks dead.

Jordin Sparks--Shoot.  I forgot about Jordin.  She's good, too.  I better vote for her now.  I guess I should listen to her perform first.  She looks SUPER DUPER FABULOUS.  WOW!  She had a few rough moments in the beginning, she was a bit flat or something, but man, she has a great voice!  I can't get over how great that dress it.  I wonder if I can borrow it.  Do you think she'll let me borrow it?  I could wear it to Target or to take Ariel to preschool.  My life is so glamorous.   Brian HATED this performance.  HATED. He thinks she going to get voted off tonight.  WHA????  SAY WHO????  What is he talking about?  I don't think it was her best, but it was really good!   

Who's going to get voted off??  Phil or Kee Kee (or is it spelled Key Key??)

American Idol---country style

Martina McBride.  Okay, I do not listen to country music, but I don't hate it.  I just don't think I get it, so with that being said...I'll do my best to be good tonight. 

Bring it on.

Who's first?

O' mah Lord.  The boy with the lopsided head is up first.  I figured out it's not the hats that are lopsided, his head must just be lopsided.  I can accept that.  Wearing your hats sideways is something I can NOT accept.  cuz you know, I'm a fashionista n' all with my yoga pants and graphic tees, don'tcha know?

Phil Stacey--YIPPEE NO HAT!!  Of all nights he should be wearing a (cowboy) hat, he's bald.  Go figure.  His stylist is fired.  He sounds pretty good tonight.  I don't hate it, but I ain't buying his album, that's for sure.  He's a country boy, who knew?  Now put on that cowboy hat.  and get off of the stage.

Jordin Sparks--I love love love her hair tonight.  So pretty.  Someone spent many hours with a flat iron with that girl, well worth it.  She looks adorable.  Her voice sounds great and the ending was outstanding.  I was a little bored at first, but in the end, she did a great job.

Sanjaya Sucks--The funniest thing about his performance is that I haven't even watched it yet and I can already tell you that I loathe this song.  I mean, is it really even country?  It used to be played on VH-1 back when I was in my late teens and it wasn't during country hour.  I don't like this song and coincidentally, I don't like Sanjaya.  What a happy marriage.  Okay, time to unpause and watch the car accident.   wow, he really looks like a woman tonight.   really.  Not that there is anything wrong with him looking JUST LIKE A WOMAN, I'm just sayin'.  If I were in the audience, I would spit spit wads at him through a straw.  It would be funny.   By the way, this "performance" is downright awful and boring and he just plain ol' sucks.  He's flat and I know I could sing better than him, with a sock in my mouth.  NEXT.

LaKisha Jones--I'm excited about this performance, I hope it knocks my socks off.  She looks good.  This is pretty pitchy, isn't it?  Well, unfortunately, my socks are still on.  I'm disappointed, she seemed like she did a lot of yelling.   (let me tell you that I have said exactly what the judges said BEFORE they said it, I even read it to Brian, so if you don't believe me, ask him!)   I would totally eat a hamburger for breakfast, don't even tempt Simon.  Simon is DEAD ON tonight, dead on.  She looks pretty, though.

Chris Richardson--I don't know how I feel about this performance.  It's nice?  Safe?  He's pitchy.  Poor Chris.  Maybe he should have worn cowboy boots?

The audience is totally on my nerves with all of the booing.

Melinda Dolittle--She looks SO SO SO cute.    Isn't anyone going to sing "save a horse, ride a cowboy?"  Talk about missing out on the classics, man.  I love this performance already.   It's full of life, I don't really know what she's saying, but that's okay.  She sounds good and I sorta want to get on my cowboy (cowgirl?) boots and do some line dancing.  Care to join me?  Loved Melinda tonight.  YOU GO GIRL!  I can't get over how pretty she looks.

Blakey Richardson--Once again, he's wearing two too many shirts.  This is a nice song, but he's VERY pitchy.  Who knew country singing was so difficult?  Man, Sanjaya sucks, doesn't he?  Oh, you voted for him?  Well, STOP, m'kay?  Oh, back to Blakey, not his best performance, but it was nice, lovely, he's cute.

Who's going home?  Haley  errr...oh wait...Phil

Who's staying?  SANJAYA SUCKS.

      

Terribly random

I really do not have much to say about what is going on in my life right now.  To be honest, this bloggity contest for Heather is well, time consuming, in a healthy sorta way.  I never expected the prize donations to fly in the way they have.  I'm touched, to say the least.  When I e-mailed BooMama about the contest this past Friday, I told her that I had three vendors I could contact and well...have you seen the list lately??  It's a beautiful bloggy world out there.

I could tell you that I have sat down on many different occasions to write an entry, only to find e-mails in my inbox from people wanting to donate items to the contest.  What a thrill!  But terribly distracting!

I guess I could write about the fact that I am still stenciling on Ariel's walls for the third day in the row.  She still loves it, I still do not, today will be the last day.

I could also tell you that yesterday I counted points and had a great Weight Watcher day and this morning when I weighed myself I had gained a pound.  How's that for incentive.  (I admit, I weigh myself five times a day every morning.)

Speaking of weight loss, or weight gain, rather, I had to make cupcakes for Ariel's class as she is the V.I.P (very important preschooler) for this week.  I heart cupcakes.  Especially homemade white cupcakes with fresh vanilla frosting.  I love them so much that I had to only make enough cupcakes for Ariel's class and her teachers, because otherwise I would have taken the cupcakes, plopped myself on the floor and shoved them as quickly as possible into my face.  I dumped the remaining batter in the sink.  That is what I call strength!  My heart still aches just thinking about the cupcakes that could have been.  Had I known I was going to gain a pound, I would have indulged in three one.

Oh!  I should share with you that Brian is going to Los Angeles in a few days and well, that just sucks for me.  You see, my days are so long being a SAHM to a 3 and 4 year old, but when Brian gets home at 6:20pm, he's my glass of wine, my moment of relaxation, my helper.  The mere thought of not having him around for five whole days, well, causes me to throw up a little bit in my mouth.  So, if you are free, come over, you can mop and fold the laundry and take the kids to the park, unless it snows.  great, thanks.  Don't even get me started on the fact that when he comes back he'll leave in another week for another week.  I have to stop talking about it, it puts me in a bad, bad place.

But what I will tell you is to be sure to check back tonight, as my American Idol Review will be up tonight and well...I can't wait.  It's going to be awesome.

shocking

Last night, Brian asked me what my prediction was for American Idol, I replied with "Haley is going home."  His response was filled with pure shock and horror.  "Seriously?  Not Phil or Sanjaya, but Haley?!?!?!" 

While stuffing my face with nachos, I couldn't help but think how hypnotizing Haley's legs must be for him to think she shouldn't be voted off.   And what's so great about her legs?  I mean, I have nice legs, they may be covered with fat and cellulite, stubble and yoga pants, but somewhere in there, I've got Haley beat for sure.

After she was voted off and she began singing, Brian commented on how awful she sounded, I replied "it's amazing how bad she sounds when she has pants on." 

He couldn't have agreed more.

American Idol--j-lo style

First of all, I no longer believe that votefortheworst.com and Howard Stern are to blame for Sanjaya still being on the show.  I think people are actually voting for him because people think he is good and cute and stuff.  Which I think is absurd and grody.to.the.max.

Melinda Dolittle--She sounded great, looked fantastic, loved her dress.  I think the choker gave the illusion that she may have a neck.  (although we all know she, in fact, does not.)

LaKisha Jones--Unfortunately for Kee Kee, I hate this song sooo much.  It reminds me of a slumber party I went to when I was in 3rd grade and they drew on my face when I was sleeping.   Kids can be so cruel.  Anyway, she "played" a good Latina artist, but I was bored.

Chris Richardson--I don't like this song either, but he looks nice.  Is he singing too low?    He did pick it up in the end, which was good, I liked him tonight, a little more than usual.

oh good gravy.  Two winners are coming up--Haley and Phil.  Slutty and eyeballs.  can't.wait.

Haley Tigerprintwhore--Could those shorts be ANY shorter?  Do they even qualify as shorts or are they underwear?  I hope LaKisha jumps her tonight, that would be rich.  Is this Gloria Estefan night?  Because  I don't like Gloria Estefan.  hmm...I wonder if Simon will comment on her "stellar" vocals or her long legs.  NEXT NEXT NEXT---tired of seeing hookerville every week, that is for sure. 

Phil Stacey--He's here and Gina is gone?  who say wha???  To me, he looks like a corpse on stage, with a hat on...singing.  I am clutching my covers, holding them to my chin and shivering in my bed because there is a ghost on American Idol and his name is Phil.  creepy.  I'm going to close my eyes and listen now:  I'm not saying he's a bad singer, but each week, he makes his voice sound like the original singer of the song and that is not a good thing, it's a flaw.  He's not original in the least.  Does that makes sense to you?  Is his hat on sideways?  Does he know this?

Jordin Sparks--She was born in 1989??  Doesn't that make her like nine?  No way--Gloria Estefan again??  It's like fingers on the chalkboard, friends.  But she looks SO cute tonight and I always look forward to her.  okay, maybe this was the song that reminds of someone drawing on my face while in the third grade, they all sound the same to me.    She's very sultry looking tonight.  But, the song?  I'm bored.  She has sounded SO much better in the past.  I totally agree with Simon, just "okay" performances.

Blakey Lewis--I'm excited about this.  and his pits are sweaty, but that's okay.  His voice sounds really great, he has such a nice, steady voice, very original. I really enjoyed the ending of the song, he needed to break the song up and he did in the end.   Simon likes him, he likes him!!  HOORAY!!  I like him, too!   But man...if he took his shirt off??    lasdjfoaoejdgggladk ngalkdgjfdgllaw kjefkdkn2odcna qw1mcmdsagjk blalkjsedlrajerekdjfsldjfasd2q2evad,mgnalsdj

okay, The Sanjaya thing is coming up.  Thank you to everyone who sent me interesting Sanjaya articles and videos this week, I really appreciate it, anything that makes me feel better about my feelings about this turd is really appreciated it. 

Sanjaya wasteoftime--Here's the thing, to me he's just too young.   He doesn't swoon me, he doesn't excited me, and even if he has an "okay" voice, it's just not enough.  I actually appreciate his calmer look tonight, but I do not appreciate him looking at me like that through the camera, it's creepy and wrong and he's FOUR.  This was a boring performance tonight.  It was and you know it.

who's going home??  Haley

who is staying?  Melinda, Blake, LaKisha and Jordin

American Idol---Bennett Style

(I say that like I am a fan of his...but I am not.)

So, I'm late chiming in tonight.  I was at a meeting and just got home and now I have a fever. 

Blake Lewis: C'mon now.  Bring it to me, blondie.  I see he's coming up first and I am a lil' bit excited about that.  shhh...be quiet.  He's starting now.  I like his moves.  His voice sounds nice and smooth.  Maybe it would help if he took his shirt off?  Was he just off key?  shirt.off.  he's wearing too many shirts.  Seriously, though, nice performance.

Phil Stacey: Ryan just told me he was coming up and once again...I'm scared, not excited.  Sometimes I fear that he's going to come out of the tv screen and begin eating my arms or legs or even my head because his eyes scare me.  I know, it's about singing not big, enormous eyeballs, leave me alone.  Is it me or does he look so much better without a freakin' hat on???   he's not so scary anymore!  He actually looks like a real performer.  but I'm bored. bye.

Melinda Dolittle: I do love this girl, she's cute and lovable.  But I'm going to say it, I've held back from saying this for so long, but I can't hold back any longer.  Here goes.  I wish her neck was longer.  That's all.  Don't hate me, I love her and want to put her in my pocket especially tonight with her rockin' hair, but her neck is so...um...short.    She sounds great and is such an amazing performer.  She TORE IT UP at the end.  She's great.  Big props!  (as usual) 

Chris Richardson:  He is trying to look like my boy Justin Timberlake. whatever.   Then again, if I were on Idol and I was a boy, I'd try to look like him, too.   Cute start with the shadowing.  I just don't know this song, so I'm really not feeling it.  Glad the judges liked it.

Jordin Sparks:  dangit she's cute.  She sounds fantastic, what a voice.  Maybe a few pitchy, flat notes, but she sounded really good, very strong.  She does things with her voice that some of the other contestants will only dream about doing.  sanjaya sucks
I love Simon laughing at Paula.  cracks me up, fer real.  . 

Gina Glocksen:   I know she is not singing ONE OF MY ALL TIME FAVORITE FREAKING SONGS.  I LOVE THIS SONG SO SO SO SO MUCH.  I used to sing this to my kids EVERY NIGHT.  I'm going to cry.  damn violins.  at least her silver eye shadow is distracting me.  I am not feeling it, maybe because this songs mean alot to me, not her best performance.

Sanjaya Smackhimfar:  facial hair?  no, he's like four.   His face looks like Willis from Different Strokes.  Boring, ugly.  I wouldn't throw a penny at him if he were singing on a street corner.  Well, maybe I would throw it AT him, but not in support of him.  dancing with paula.  vomit.  At least his hair is combed or something. 

Haley Itdoesn'tmatter: I don't like her dress.  She looks like a glittery granny smith apple.  It doesn't matter.  Her performance was a little porno-riffic, don't you think?  NEXT!

Lakisha Jones: I look forward to her every week, because of her performances and the way she looks.  I really like her dress and as always she sounds very good.  On key and so strong.   Nice strong finish.  She's rockin'.  The end of the song was wonderful.

Who's going home:  I'll tell you tomorrow.

Who's not going home: Blakey, Melinda, Lakisha, Jordin.

It's up to you, dawgs.

If you are one of the many of millions of people who are angry about Sanjaya still being in the competition, you need to ask yourself a very important question.  Are you even voting for YOUR favorites?  Because if you are not voting, you are helping Sanjaya get through.  So, pick up the phone tomorrow night and vote.

Now, I don't think my measly little blog is going to change the competition and make Sanjaya get the HEAVY STEELED TOE WORK BOOT that he deserves, but I do think it should prove a point to you that every vote counts.  So, vote.  (a lot.)  (and not for Sanjaya)

And for those of you that do not watch American Idol and wonder why I am obsessed with it, let me help you understand.  I don't watch sports, unless Chicago is playing, so this is my playoffs.  My Superbowl.  My Masters.  My World Series.

Don't forget to vote.