I Should Be Folding Laundry

What a week!

This past week has been a very interesting week for me.  Tuesday night, I had dinner with some of my best friends, three of whom are pregnant and due any day now.  Although knowing they are pregnant and seeing them is another painful reminder of our loss, seeing them, their glows, the anticipation in their eyes is just so exciting.  I can't wait to meet these little babies.  Between you and me, I think they've met James and Jake.  But that's our little secret.

Thursday, as I'm sure you all remember, was wonderful.

I just wanted to take a second to thank you all for being there with me every single day.  I know you all think that this blog is just a blog that gets traffic and that's that.  But I am just a dirty jean and yoga pant wearing (even though there ain't no yoga goin' on) real person, who sits here, sometimes with no bra on, surrounded by cereal stuck to my floor and doing what I can to get through the day, one day at a time, trying to be the best person I can be.  I have this blog because it's good therapy for me, it's fun to write, but also, I love hearing from all of you.

I've said it before, but I have no idea how I became so lucky to be able to have EACH AND EVERYONE of you come to my blog and read and sometimes comment.  (you know I love comments!  You're my friends, I love hearing from you!)

Last week I was having an I LOVE MY READERS moment (which happens all of the time) with Brian and I said "I just wish I could meet every single one of them."  Even those of you who have never commented, but you come daily to check in and read, sometimes cry, sometimes laugh.   This week your comments and e-mails have been so supportive and HILARIOUS.  (seriously...you guys are hysterical.)   I mean, Ashley is leaving comments about Seal's package and Sharon is leaving the most profound, amazing, beautiful, loving comment about our trees and honoring MY ENTIRE FAMILY with her words.  But each comment is filled with love, no matter how simple.  I even said to Brian that I wish I could host a live chat and get to know everyone.  That's why I love it when you guys share things with me, I get to learn about YOU.  I love that.

Anyway, I just wanted to say thank you.  Thank you for reading and coming back, for your words, your prayers, your smiles, your love.  I feel it, more than you could ever imagine.
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You may be seeing some changes here this weekend.  I am changing I Should Be Folding Laundry over to wordpress (finally) and Heather and I (Heather, who I have MAD love for) are working to make this blog a little bit neater, more beautiful and easier to navigate.

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I don't know if you've noticed,  but I do not do much blog surfing, not as much as I would like.  But one day this week, I took a few minutes to go read and I found this post by Anissa.  It's a must read.  Tell her Beth sent you.

Have a great weekend.

Help a sista out.

My friend, Jen, at Daily Mish Mash is in need of your creative assistance.  She and I are working on a site redesign for her blog and we have everything just about set...she just needs a new tagline.

So, go over there and show her how smart, witty and creative you are and help a sista out.

Thanks much.  Y'all are the best!

FINALLY.

I'm embarrassed to be doing this,  But it's been bothering me that I haven't, so today is the day.

Remember 85,000 years ago, when I asked you all to ask me questions and many of you did and it took me like 19 years to answer most of the questions?

Well, I never finished answering them and I feel so badly because you all took the time to ask and I just never answered, I think about it EVERY SINGLE DAY.

I know.  I'm sick. 

I can let my toilets go dirty for a long time, but not answering questions from my readers is completely unacceptable. 

So, although it's been since APRIL (OMG!), today is the day to answer the remaining questions.  And believe me...I will be asking for more questions very, very soon, so start thinking.

And I'll even answer them, within six months, next time around.

First question:

These questions came from Aimee in Port Orange, she asks:

Whats your favorite meal?  Do you have any guilty pleasures? If so what?
Anytime you talk about food, you are a friend of mine.  (note to self: write post about being fat and join weight watchers tomorrow.  or the day after that.)

I think one of my favorite meals is my Mom's meatloaf with mashed potatoes.  So good.  So fattening.

Do I have guilty pleasures?  No.  Unless you count eating 32 milk chocolate covered cashews everyday a guilty pleasure.  (Christy sent me almost three pounds of them last week and I may or may not be almost out of them already.)  or Concrete Mixers from Culver's with oreos and peanut butter cups in them.

A questions from KristiW:

What is your favorite talk show? What was your favorite show growing up?  When is your birthday?
I used to love me some Oprah, but I haven't watched it in months.  Mainly because her episodes seemed to be boring (is it just me?) but also because I just ran out of time.  I very rarely watch TV.

Now, when I was a child, I watched me some TV.  I loved Different Strokes and What's Happenin' (hey! hey! hey!) and Who's the Boss and um...FAMILY TIES!  I always wanted a kitchen door that pushed that way.  You know, the kind in EVERY SINGLE SITCOM in the 70's and 80's.

Now Brenda asks some hard hitting questions, she cuts right to the chase and you know what?  I kinda like it.
 
If this is too personal or too painful to answer, please feel free to ignore it.  Do you think you will have any more children? What do you love about being married?  Do you feel as though your life is how you planned?  What are some things you still want to do in your lifetime? Name some specifics, like before your children are grown and afterwards.

Do I think I'll have more children?

Do you have a few hours?

Short answer.  I don't know.  Instead of being excited at the thought of taking a pregnancy test, I now fear it.  I dread pregnancy, but I really do want another child.  Maybe two.  I don't think I have ever been so scared of something in my entire life.  Is it possible we are done having children?  Yes.  And that scares me, too.

What do I love about being married? I love a lot about being married.  I love being okay with doing nothing at night and sitting in my pajamas, I love having someone know me really, really well.  I love going to sleep with my husband by my side, I love that he loves me.  A lot.  And when I say "can you run to Culver's and get me a concrete mixer?"  I love that he rolls his eyes, smiles and says okay.

What do I want to do in my lifetime?  I want to take photography more seriously.  (more news on that later.....) I want to drive to California with the kids.  I would also like to write more.  However, I feel very fulfilled, I have an amazing family, I get paid to write, I get paid to design and soon, I hope, I'll get paid to take pictures.

And from Antonette:
 

If you were given the opportunity to go to ANY college for free right now and take ANY class(es) you wanted...what would you take and which college would you choose?  I don't really care what school, but I would love to take an insane amount of photography, photoshop and business classes.

Did you know colleges actually offer Blogging classes?  WHO KNEW?!
From Peggy:

First, a semi-serious one: You have referred to working at home -- do you mean blogging or do you have another job as well (besides, of course, that motherhood gig!)? When you asked this question I was working for the Chicago AMA, ten hours a week.  Now I am part owner of ruby & roja design and I work like 7,000 hours a week.  And I love it.

Second, a simply silly one:  What kind of purse do you carry? It's Fossil and it's purty.

Kristin asks:

Do you sleep with your socks ON or OFF?  LOL  OH MY GOSH, you may say LOL, but I take this question very, very seriously.  I sleep with my socks OFF.  No matter how cold it is!

And another hard hitting question, this time from Tricia.  How is your husband dealing with the loss of the twins ? And how is he dealing with your emotions? Do you feel alone at times because I'm sure he is supportive.

Brian, I don't think, is dealing with the loss of the twins.  That's just my opinion, it's his nature, his genes, to force himself to not think about the difficulty of a situation.  He finds his silver lining and only thinks about that.  And it annoys the crap out of me.  Some see that as a good quality, but I don't.  But that's how he is and there is nothing I can do about it. 

I almost always feel alone.  I think that's pretty normal, I'm getting pretty used to it, really.  The most venting I do is on this blog, so if he sees I'm upset, he'll just read my blog and then talk to me about it.  I know it's sad and seems dysfunctional, but I feel very strongly that if I did have not this outlet, I would hold everything in.  Just like my husband.

And then I would lose my mind.

I love this question from Tracy.  What does your joy look like today?
Tracy, I know you wrote this question for me way back in April.  But I think I was meant to answer it today.  My joy, seems a little bit limited today.  I'm not sure why.  Some days are difficult, some are amazing.  Some are just...okay and blah.  That's today.  However, even in my darkest hour, I see joy.  I see it in my children, my husband, my home that is way too messy, the peanut butter and jelly sandwich I had for lunch and the beer I'll have later on.
Marci asks:

What one food would you have the most trouble giving up?
Pizza.  No doubt about it.
and ice cream.
(and chocolate)
My friend Mrs. Schmitty wants to know:

As a child, what did you want to be when you grew up? In my younger years, I had high hopes to be a cashier at grocery store.  All that scanning and number punching would make my head spin.

But then I decided that maybe I wanted to do something else...so in high school I declared I would be a journalist.

But I did not.

And Lovelyn asks a very simple question that I have spent many hours trying to answer.  It's a toughie.  (I love Lovelyn, she lives near me, I created her blog header and I love it and she's pregnant with her fourth girl.  She's beautiful.)
Dylan, Brandon or Steve?

ummm...hmmmm...let me see....I don't know.  Who are these people?

Janb wanted to know:

Do you wear socks to bed?  Um never.  I would die.

Beth, Why did your parents name you what they did? Is there a story?  How about your grandparents? What do you most remember about them? My parents named me Beth because I have no idea.  And I would call my Mom and ask her but she's taking a nap.  So, I'll just assume she named me Beth because that is her middle name.  She's Mary Beth.  I'm Beth Helen and my grandma's name was Helen Anna Pauline.  (and Anna is Ariel's real name.  shhhh....don't tell Brian I told you. and her middle name is the same as my middle name.  Aren't we cute?)

Seriously.  Don't tell Brian.

What do I remember about my grandparents?  There house had the most distinct smell ever.  It was wonderful.  My grandma had an interest in everything...nature, flowers, vegetable gardening, weather, farming, animals.  Everything.  She loved life and died way too early.  I miss her so much, we all do.  She was amazing.  I can only hope to be a quarter of how great she was.

My grandpa?  He's still alive.  He's feisty and sometimes angry and grouchy and I think he's pretty pissed that he's still alive, but sometimes I think it's an act.  He does have a good heart and he was a really hard worker, a farmer, a fireman, he could fix ANYTHING.

They both gave wonderfully, wet kisses.

My other set of grandparent's passed away.  My grandfather, we called him "Top," not grandpa (I'm not sure why), he passed away when I was quite young.  He was very tall and I remember him holding me in his arms as if his arms were a swing and he'd swing me up and down.  It was a blast.

When my niece was 2 or 3 I decided to play the same game with her, but at the first swing I dropped her on her head.  That was fun. (back off, I was like 12)

My other Grandma was very, very short.  When I think about her, I want to put her in my pocket.  She always had jewelry on and her house was always clean.  She was a very sweet, loving woman.  She also always said she was 21.  I always believed her.  I was an idiot.

I am very blessed to have had the grandparents I had.  I wish I had spent more time with them.

Great questions, Jan! (I miss you, by the way!)

Kelly asks:

If you had all the money in the world - what would you buy?

I think one thing I would do is buy a massive piece of land, in North Carolina, for my entire family, you know, should they want to move into a free house.  (we would all live separately) I would like to hire a landscaper to help me create a beautiful garden, filled with wild flowers and plants and lollipop crabapples, ponds, waterfalls and benches.  This garden would be filled with birds and butterflies, flying all throughout the day.  It would be completely and totally dedicated to not just my boys, but all of the people in our family we have lost.  This is the one place I would feel comfortable spreading some of their ashes.

I'm sure I would donate a lot of money, too.  And I'd buy a lot of donuts.

Rach wants to know:

Would you ever want to be pregnant with twins again? I ask because my first pregnancy was twins - only one survived. And sometimes I think I want twins again, and sometimes thinking of being pregnant with twins again fills me with dread - too much at stake, you know?

One of the greatest joys I have ever known was being pregnant with twins.  Having identical twin brothers, I know that bond that is created and it's one of the most amazing things I have ever witnessed.  Would I love to be pregnant with twins again?  Yes.  Honestly.

However, what I really want is a healthy child, a healthy pregnancy.  Whether there is one or ten, it makes no difference to me.

 

 

Not that I care or anything...

but...um...I'm a little close to being in the top 12 of the Hot Blogger Calendar vote.  Which is only cool because of going to New York City n' all.

Now, I know I ask a lot of you, what with you all talking me off of a ledge every other day, but if you haven't voted for me, or haven't voted at all for that matter, why don't you just click here and vote for me?  (please disregard the longest run-on sentence in all of history) 

Now, by my rough estimation, if all of you headed over there and voted for me, I would be in first place.  I'm just sayin'. But the good news is that I don't have to be in first place, just in the top twelve. 

So, help?   Really, it will be fun...(once again...I'm waaaaaaaaaaaaaay down at the bottom.)

End shameless plug..............NOW. 

I'll be back later with a real post.

So good.

You would have to be blind to have not heard about Nie Nie Day.

If you haven't heard, Stephanie Nielson of the Nie Nie Dialogues is the wife to Christian and a mom to four.  On August 16th, Stephanie and Christian were on a private plane that crashed in Arizona.  The pilot passed away and Stephanie and Christian are still in critical condition.  Stephanie has burns over 80% of her body, Christian has burns over 20% of his body.

Gabrielle, at Design Mom is hosting a Silent Auction across the blogosphere to help them with your medical bills.  So many amazing things are being auction off, both big and small.  Go there and check it out. 

Wanting to help, ruby & roja have placed a Plush Blog Design up for auction, the bidding started at $10.  Whoever wins the auction, will donate the winning amount to Stephanie and Christian's secure paypal account, set up by family.

If you are unable to participate in the bidding, I encourage you to post about the silent auction on your blog, the cause is so, so good.

Today we are reminded of just how amazing the blogosphere is.

Now this is just embarrassing.

I don't know who did it, but someone nominated me for the Hot Blogger Calendar, was it you?  or you?  IT WAS YOU?!?!  Are you crazy?

I am about the furthest thing from hot, what with my graphic tees, cut off sweatpants shorts, ponytail, muffin top and stubbly legs, but hey, I'll take what I can get.  Plus, the winners get to go to New York City for a photo shoot and I love me some New York City.

And since I'm a teeny bit competitive, you can vote for me, right here.  (just scroll all the way to the bottom, there are only about 7,000 nominees.)  Hurry, you have until 8/31 to vote.  And if you don't vote for me, that's fine, too, maybe you don't find stubbly legs attractive.  whatever.

Blogging for Cancer

I just wanted to let you know about a charity blogging event occurring over at Goodies for Mom (a great site for Moms, by the way!) at the the Friends of Heroes blog.  Go there and find out how you can make a difference and how you can raise awareness.  It really is a great cause.  (and prizes...did I mention tons of prizes??)  Check it out, yourselves.

From their site:

If you have a blog or a website, please help us promote our “Blogging for Blood Cancer” Event. The first annual “Blogging for Blood Cancer” event will take place from August 11-18, 2008. This first time event will bring bloggers from across the United States together to raise awareness for The Leukemia & Lymphoma Society and its mission to cure leukemia, lymphoma, Hodgkin’s disease and myeloma, and improve the quality of life of patients and their families.

The event is being hosted by Goodies for Mom in conjunction with the Friends of Heroes (FOH) National Light The Night Team of which I am a proud part. We are asking (ok ,begging) that bloggers post on your blogs throughout the event about the importance of the LLS mission, share your personal stories of those you have come to know who have been affected by blood cancer, or share some of the stories you read here and on the FOH site during the week that have touched your hearts.

All bloggers participating will have the opportunity to be entered to win prizes donated by event sponsors by leaving a Mr. Linky link on the Goodies for Mom post for the event. The event post will go up on August 11, 2008 at 8:00am. Even if you do not have a blog, visitors to the Goodies for Mom and Friends of Heroes blogs during the week will also have opportunities to win as they learn more about the importance of LLS’s research and patient services in the fight against blood cancer.

Photo Contest

5 Minutes for Mom is having a summer fun photo contest, here's my submission, I could win $500, and I could certainly use $500 since our washer is dead, the air in our car went out and our house flooded...not to mention that gas is $700 per gallon.  good times.

Does this shot look like summer fun to you?  Isn't anything more summer than watching fireworks on the fourth of July with cousins?  I think not.

 

Bloggy Giveaway - Ruby & Roja Style

Welcome to my blog! - I have an ultra trendy, extremely lovely and VERY saucy giveaway for one very, very lucky reader.

I am giving away a Blog Redesign (The Essential) from Ruby & Roja Design.  THIS IS A $70 VALUE (I KNOW!) and all you have to do...is leave a comment.

Could it be any easier than that?  In fact it can be, my design partner is giving away a second redesign over on her blog, are you spoiled, or what?  Head over there and you'll have two chances to win!  Best of luck!

Comments will be closed on Thursday, July 31st, at 9:00 P.M. EST., one entry per person, winner will receive up to ten free iStock credits for blog redesign, redesign limited to Blogger, Typepad Plus/Pro and (upgraded) Wordpress formats, the winner will be chosen at random and announced on Friday, August 1.  Please make sure your e-mail is valid.

Hello. Goodbye.

I blogged over here.  I think you'll notice that I had my photo updated, which is good except that it's not because OMG my head looks huge and I apparently need to learn how to apply eyeliner, because where did my eyes go?  So, hey, maybe don't go there at all?  But if you do, cover your eyes.  k?

and if you haven't entered for a chance to win a fabulous blog design, get creative and go enter here!  This organization needs your fabulous ideas - yes, YOURS!  Hurry, the contest ends tomorrow!