I Should Be Folding Laundry

Here's the thing

I haven't written about this yet, but recently I could feel that my thyroid levels were off.  The weekend of the 20th, I started to feel the sensation I had last year where it feels like someone is choking me, plus I keep gaining weight like it's my job, I'm so tired, very depressed, etc. etc.  My doctor faxed an order to my lab to draw blood last Monday and on Tuesday the 22nd, the doctor's office called and said my levels were "wacky" and that the doctor wanted to see me.  I was quite pleased because there is nothing better than feeling like crap and then figuring out that it's not my fault.  Unfortunately, they could not get me in to see the doctor until yesterday.

After my post about Prozac and expressing the feelings of feeling very flat, I realized I probably should have mentioned that my thyroid was off in that post.  I did talk to my doctor about backing up the dose a little bit and he advised against doing that and thought that by increasing the thyroid right now it may help my feelings of ambivalence, but that we would revisit the Prozac levels in six weeks.  My hope is to stop taking anti-depressants all together, sometime during the fall.

So, my doctor increased my thyroid medication which makes me hopeful and happy.  Two things I like feeling, but one thing I don't like feeling is fat.  I hope this helps me stop gaining weight faster than a freight train and allows me to lose the weight through joining Weight Watchers or some other crap like that. 

While I was at the doctor I told him about this foot problem I was having where when I walk barefoot it feels like I have fluid in the ball of my foot, it's very uncomfortable and then when I wear my running shoes my toes fall asleep.  Did you know I can't clean without my running shoes on?  I can't do anything productive without them on, you should try it sometime.  Anyway, the foot issue is very annoying and honestly, it's painful.  He blamed my thyroid. 

That thyroid is nothing but a trouble maker, you know, when it's not working properly, it controls everything from weight gain, to feeling psychotic to my toes falling asleep.  I can't wait to get this back under control...again.

My soul sister is making me call my endocrinologist in Chicago today, she's very bossy and very tiny, even at 35 weeks pregnant, so I figure I better listen to her otherwise she'll call me every single day to tell me why I need to call this doctor and she'll probably yell obscenities, too.  All of these things are reasons why I love this person so so so much and reasons why I'll call my endocrinologist in Chicago.

So, there you have it, the inside scoop, probably the real reason why I haven't felt like blogging all that much or doing anything for that matter, but I see a light at the end of the tunnel, it's very little, but it's there and I just know that the sunlight will soon be shining on me.

And I can't wait.

A plan is a plan is a plan is a plan

I don't even know what that title means.

If things were supposed to go as planned today, I would be at Northwestern Hospital in downtown Chicago getting my radioactive thyroid scans done, right now.

I would have gone to bed earlier, not eaten or had a sip of coffee or water since midnight and I would be getting the answers I need, right now. 

I would leave the scan, go to work on Michigan Avenue, then go back for an additional scan at three o' clock today and then I would have to return again tomorrow morning, for yet, another scan.  All those scans equal a whole lot of answers.

But alas, plans change, don't they?  Sometimes you plan to only have two pieces of pizza and you end up eating seven three.  Sometimes, you intend to run into Target only to purchases a headband and end up having drained your checking account.  And sometimes, you wake up planning to tackle the laundry, but instead you end up wearing dirty socks the following day.

So, I'm not getting my scans done right now.  Instead, I'm sitting here, on my couch, blogging and drinking coffee, while Brian, who took off of work so I could get these scans done, is taking Ariel to school and Racecar has tagged along.  It's kinda peaceful, yet, kinda not.

Because I am not at Northwestern right now getting these scans done.  The hospital called on Friday to get additional medical information from me, they asked about my current prescriptions, when they realized that I am still taking thyroid.  Well, of course I am, because I may die without.  (which is totally dramatic, but having a low thyroid is awful. Enough said.)  However, in order to get a proper scan done, you must be off of all thyroid medications for FOUR WEEKS.  Yes, yes. four weeks.  So, no scan for me.

I am okay with this, I mean, I am sitting in my quiet house drinking coffee right now, and I am feeling better, but still, answers would be good.

But in the meantime, I eagerly await the sausage egg and cheese mcmuffin and heaven in a cup that Brian will be bringing me in just a few short minutes.

Then maybe I'll tackle that laundry I didn't do yesterday, after all, it's not like I can go shopping today, I went to Target last night and spent all of my money.

31 Minutes

I left my house in Indiana to head to my doctor's appointment at 12:29 p.m., I arrived in Chicago 31 minutes later.
It took me 31 minutes to see this:

I love it when there is no traffic. and oh how I love this city.

My appointment went well.  I ended up taking the kids with me, I met Brian, who works downtown, and he took the kids to the park while I was with the doctor.  The kids loooove Chicago and The Bean.  Who doesn't enjoy the bean?

After much discussion with my new endocrinologist, she feels that my current doctor has done a really good job of diagnosing and medicating me.  which is really great news.

Unfortunately, we do not have a solid answer as to why my body is going crazy.  Both my doctors feel I have thyroiditis.  The thyroiditis is what is causing the very high pulse, the high blood pressure, fevers, extreme hair loss and a host of other symptoms.

I have to have a radioactive scan done on my thyroid, which will tell us if I do, in fact, have thyroiditis.  If I do have thyroiditis, there is nothing that  can be done, aside from taking large doses of ibuprofen to keep the swelling of my thyroid down, I could have it for many months.  If I do not have thyroiditis, there is a possibility that there are some some nodules on my thyroid or in the vicinity that is causing the choking sensation and increased levels. 

My current doctor faxed over my blood test results from two weeks ago to my new thyroid doctor.  My T3  levels were extremely high and my TSH levels were "severely depressed."  "No wonder you don't feel well," my doctor said. Thank you doctor for the validation, I thought.  If the scan shows nothing, which is my fear, then my current thyroid dose will be dropped.

My scan isn't until November 5th!!  But that's okay, if the ibuprofen doesn't bring down the swelling of my thyroid then my doctor has already written me a prescription for steroids, in case I need it.

I'm very glad I went.  I'm glad to have the second opinion and I'm glad both doctors agreed on my current situation.  I really love my current doctor and would have been heart broken if he had things all wrong.  But he didn't.

However, I will continue to see my endocrinologist because I feel my G.P. has done everything he can and it's time to go to someone who has more expertise.

So, there you have it.  We wait.  and wait.  Which just means another 4,329 blogs posts about my thyroid over the next few weeks.

Hey.  I hear you groaning, you better watch out, there will be a pop quiz.

Okay, fine.  Here's another picture of the kids at the bean.

ALRIGHT!  ONE MORE.  pushy readers.

In all seriousness, thank you ALL for you kind words, advice, thoughts & prayers.  Truly, thank you.

The Hormones

As if I'm not hormonal enough, let me tell you.

As most of you know, I've had some major high blood pressure/thyroid issues that the doctors are trying desperately to figure out.

Obviously because it's been almost two weeks and I'm still undiagnosed, but whatever, I'm sure they are concerned, at least a little bit.

or not.

On Friday morning I went in for my long awaited thyroid ultrasound.  I had pre-registered for my ultrasound the day before and walked into this tiny hospital at 9:28, with my crack coffee in hand, allowing myself PU-LENTY of time to get to the ultrasound room.  Really, it's small.  Wal-Mart across the street is much bigger.  I was stopped at the front desk and I told them that I had pre-registered, THANKYOUVERYMUCH and she was like "take a number, beyotch."

So, I did.  I had number ONE.  And I sat there, waiting for...no one.  It was aggravating to say the least.  I walked up at 9:40 and was like, "hi there, Sue.  My appointment was at 9:30 and now I'm sitting here.  Are the ultrasound folks going to think I didn't show up?"  And she was like "probably, you were supposed to be here early."

Oh really?  Early?  Because nobody told me that.

So, someone called the ultrasound folks and I sat back down.  And continued to wait for absolutely nobody, because I was still number ONE.

I was called up to the desk and asked for all sorts of information.  I thought maybe I had accidently applied for a small loan, but apparently I was in fact, in the right place.  Sue proceeded to call the ultrasound folks, not knowing someone else did, and told them that Beth Folding Laundry had just arrived.  Wha?  Who?  Who the Wha?  I whipped my head around and looked at the clock and it said 9:48.

I know she di'int.

But, truly, I didn't care.  I'm totally hormonal.  I went from wanting to shove the phone down her throat to wanting to hug her for being a jerk.  whatever. I quit.

So, I went back to the ultrasound folks and had my ultrasound done on my thyroid.  Which typically is not a big deal, but when your thyroid is swollen and you already have the someone is trying to choke me feeling all of the time, that little wand adds a lot of pressure.  Let's just say I was glad to be in my car with my crack coffee when that ordeal was over with. 

Which leads me to yesterday, yes ya'll, I have a point.  I woke up and took my thyroid meds and blood pressure meds (among other medications not listed), and yes, I use a daily pill holder because I'm EIGHTY.  About 30 minutes went by when my body started to freak out.  I had already felt feverish when I woke up, but I started to feel real bad.  Fever (100.6), high pulse (105! resting), high blood pressure (freakin' high).

And the tightening around my throat???  Almost to the point where I go to the emergency room.  So, instead, I called my doctor on a Saturday morning.

I CALLED MY DOCTOR ON A SATURDAY MORNING.  I still can not believe I did that, but ... I had to.  He called me back and apparently, that little wand on my throat, where my thyroid is, released hormones from my thyroid into my body.  So, when I woke up and took my dose of additional thyroid?

My body lost it's ever loving mind.

It was quite a day, filled with MANY, MANY HORMONES!  And a lot of naps and my heart beat more yesterday than it has in my thirty years combined, but hey, I survived and today, I'm better, I think.

I hope.

And so does my husband.

And so does my doctor, after all, I pulled the I'll call you on Saturday card, I think I may have a diagnosis sometime within the hour.

Sleepy Hollow

I find it important to tell you that my blood pressure was still grossly high today, like the highest ever.  Which is fun, you know, if you are into strokes and stuff.

I kid.  But it was high.  (157/113)  So, after spending the early part of my day worried about my SKYROCKETING blood pressure, which only increases my blood pressure and after spending my day feeling "cold medicine (night time formula) fatigue", It was time to head to the doctor.  Because I love spending $20 to sit in a waiting room for 75 minutes before getting weighed, then having a grouchy nurse take your pulse and temperature and then talking to a man for four minutes just to leave confused.  The price I will pay for a little adventure.

I'm still having the choking sensation, which means I really need this ultrasound done on Friday.  I won't get the results back until Tuesday.  Until then, my thyroid meds will be increased again and I have been placed on a diuretic, which equals mucho pee.  good times.   

Kids, what have we learned today?  Higher dose of thyroid meds and higher thyroid levels means better chance for quality blogging. (although unlikely) No more of this blood pressure crap.  You think you are tired of it, think of me.

Did you know when we were in Southern Indiana (Brown County, to be exact) we purchased lots of things?  Big things, little things, good smelling things, Christmas things, all sorts of things.  See?

She's very strong.

I have another picture of the guys carrying stuff, too.  Big stuff.  But I'm much too lazy to show you the picture.  What did I carry?  My camera, of course.  I'm all about sharing the responsibilities.  (it took me 2 minutes and 62 tries to spell that work correctly.)

And here is a picture of my sister and I having breakfast at a new favorite restaurant of ours.  Our bill came to $5.50 for both of our breakfasts.  We felt like Rachel Ray on $40 a Day, except we are way less annoying.  Usually.

I'd love to stay up and talk shop with you tonight, but I have fallen asleep three times since starting this post.  No really, like head bopping, mouth open, snoring sleep.  It's attractive to say the least.  I can't even imagine how interesting it will be for you when you've read it.  I hope you've had some caffeine.  or a pillow nearby.

so very lazy

Back in July, we returned home after an eleven day trip to North Carolina with the children.  The trip included lots of driving, hotel stays and family visits.

It was divine.

After we pulled in the driveway, we began unpacking and within the hour we had totally unpacked and I had already started the laundry.  Within 90 minutes we had take the kids to a nice restaurant and within 2 hours I had gone grocery shopping.  The efficiency and energy were disgusting.

We returned home tonight from our three night trip sans children and my bed is covered in items that I have not yet unpacked.  I've been home for four hours.  Granted I did make dinner, but that's about it.  Which means tomorrow will be very difficult, unless you want to come over and help me unpack and clean.  I would appreciate that very much.

My blood pressure is still alarmingly high and I'm not sure what to do about that.  A visit and a phone call last week and I'm still having issues.  And when I say high, we are talking 153/109.  High.  So, I'll call again in the morning, in the meantime, I'm going to bed.

Blame it on my Mom. and her Mom...and her Mom.

I'm going to have some difficulty trying to blog because my eyelids are oh so heavy and I feel like I'm going to fall asleep any minute lkjfldskjffffffffffffffffffflkjlksdjkf lskdalkslqqqqqqqqqqqqqlkjdlksjdksljdllllllllllllllllllllksdjlgjaldkgja;lkdfnaj;eopwjko;fejg;aoewijr;oiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiii

And I'm awake.

for now.

The blood pressure.  OH yes, the blood pressure.  Not only do I get to worry about my hypo-thyroidism, I also get to worry about my blood pressure.  Both of which are products of genetics.

I've been on blood pressure medicine since after I had Ariel almost five years ago.  I have five brothers and sisters and all but one of us are on this medicine.  I have been feeling fine.

I went to see my OB about a week and a half ago when she told me by BP was high, something to the tune of 145/88.  She asked me to come back and have it rechecked in one week, I did and it was just as high.  My recheck was two days ago.  Since then, I have not been feeling right.  I feel a lot of pressure in my head, dizzy, light headed, simply put, not right.

I had essentially decided last night to call my GP (as directed by my OB) sometime today, as it seemed like my BP was getting higher and higher.  (I have a blood pressure reader at home)  So, this morning, first thing, I checked my BP, it was 149/102.  Which is just not good at all.  It's terrible, really.

I got in to the see the doctor.  While there I also told him about this feeling I was having that felt like I was being choked, which is very annoying and sometimes a little frightening.  Before I even told him that, he felt my throat region.  He told me my thyroid was swollen and that I need to have an ultrasound done and some lab work.  He feels very strongly that my thryoid is kinda freakin' out and my body is being "sent into a tailspin."   He sent me home with lab orders and told me to double up on my current blood pressure meds.  When I came home from my appointment, my BP was 157/108.

Needless to say, I'm trying to take things a little bit easy, my ultrasound isn't until next week, unless there is a cancellation, which does suck, considering it feel likes someone is squeezing my neck.

So, once again, the thyroid rears it's ugly head once again, causing problems.

Damn genetics.

I love you, Juan Valdez. Love. You.

I'm fasting right now.  Which is fine.  Right now.  But come tomorrow morning I'm not going to be happy.  Without coffee and all.

I'm going into the lab to get my blood work done.  I went today, I lugged the kids into the laboratory after making a series of threats for bad behavior only to be turned away.  It was 3:00 p.m.  All those hefty threats for nuthin'.

The girl looked down at the order and says "have you had anything to eat in the last 10 hours."  I looked down at the crumbs on my shirt.  "yes."  "You have to fast for 10 hours prior to the test."  "Nobody told me that I had to fast." 

I was pretty irritated.  But not because I made a separate trip for no reason, but because this means I have to drive in the morning without coffee which is equal to someone sleeping while driving. 

Which is just dangerous.

I'll pack plenty of coffee in to-go cups.  Oh, yes I will.  In fact, I may bring the coffee into the facility with me and start gulping it while she's wrapping the bandage tightly around my arm.  And then I'll finish it before opening the door to my car which will be just in time for me to start the cup that's been sitting so patiently in the cup holder.

Such a good cup.

That cup is going to taste so good. I just know it!  I better drink it quickly, like before I leave the parking lot so I can begin another cup because I'm heading to the gym and if I don't drink PLENTY of coffee I'll probably fall asleep on the locker room floor.  Which probably isn't that clean and certainly will not give me a good workout.

And then when I leave the gym...I'll have another cup.

But I'm not addicted or anything.

Wheaties

I sure have been complaining a lot about being tired, huh?

Well, I'm still tired so I'm still going to complain.  I'm sick of being tired.  And before I go on, I know everyone is tired, believe me, I know.  However, this is different.  It's dead dog tired.  Tired to the core.  Deep tissue tired.  The type of tired that while driving I'll wonder how I'm going to get home.  Or when I'm walking how I'm going to take the next step.  People, I am exhausted.  (and when I see the piles of laundry and the mess all over my house that I'm too tired to take care of, it makes me more tired.  Somehow.)

And as reported a few weeks ago, my blood tests showed that my thyroid levels did not drop again.  So, I waited two weeks hoping I would feel better and then finally called my doctor because THERE IS SOMETHING WRONG.  So, I go there and after examination, Dr. Thyroid tells me that he does think it's my thyroid but that it did not show up in my blood test a few weeks ago and he would like for me to get another test done...in two weeks.  At which point I wondered if I could just curl up in bed the entire time, but knew that wasn't an option because, you know, my blog would suffer.  Oh and my children and husband would starve and my house would turn into the local garbage dump.  so, here I am, tired as hell.

Then, yesterday, I saw this commercial with the ever so chipper and energetic Mary Lou Retton.  I've never wanted to be her so much in my life.  The commercial was for a dietary supplement that is supposed to make you be active, or something.  And she was so active in that commercial, active and pretty with bright shiny hair and she was playing with like eleven kids and I watched with tears steaming down my face and hearts floating around my head because "I am going to be just like her!"  Because you know I was going to head to my local GNC and get me some of that supplemental stuff.  This is an all natural supplement that is actually considered a multi-vitamin, so I did go buy it.  And I'm interested, very interested in if I'm going to be like Mary Lou some day soon.

Minus that bright, shiny smile and the leotard.

Well, maybe the leotard.

No, I did not really cry at the commercial.

 

Random like the lottery

Today started out running a ton of errands for the 5K Run, although it was productive, it was tiring and my kids drove me crazy and I just wanted to go home or go to a fair or do something besides WAITING FOR SPONSORS.

Which aren't calling, or e-mailing or sending checks.  At least to me. (despite additional attempts today and over the weekend.  whatever, y'all.  what.ever.)

I'm so aggravated, I feel defeated,  I feel like a failure, I'm very upset tonight.  This event is so good, everything is right, great location, great logo, awesome prizes, incredible entertainment, but I just can't get THREE BUSINESSES TO DONATE $300 so we can give our runners t-shirts and I'm just very upset over this.  I shed tears tonight, people, TEARS.  That's doesn't happen too often.  (usually only when I'm out of queso or when I watch Steel Magnolias.  Shut up, you cry, too.)

I almost didn't blog tonight because who wants to read someone whining about some charity work gone potentially bad, but I am blogging because this is my life right now, so therefore I blog about it.

Oh and did I mention my air conditioning is not working?  I heart my piece of crap house. 

ON TO THE GOOD SIDE OF THINGS, because there are always good things if you look hard enough....Brian is home safely from his trip, after a cancelled flight he came home tonight and the kids turned into crazy, hyper children, they were so excited to see him.  So hyper that he immediately put them to bed.

I LOVE MY iPOD so much.  I'm really getting a ton of use out of it.  Brian bought me speakers for it last week and now I love it even more! 

I received my Monk & Neagle CD from BooMama's giveaway and it's awesome...and already on my iTunes.

And a thyroid update, I did get my thyroid test results back a week ago Friday and they came back fine, which sucks.  (nice attitude, huh?) I do plan to get into my doctor to discuss some of my symptoms because I am still tired and totally on the crazy side.  Totally.

At least I can admit it, right?

And, for those wondering, I loved the Tim McGraw and Faith Hill concert, I'm so glad I went.  The concert was very long, I went to bed at 3:00 a.m. that night, but it was worth it.  I didn't know that our seats were in a suite, which equals free drinks and food and a DESSERT CART!  Hello?!?!?!  Then, Christine and Shanlie, who worked the dessert cart were super nice.  Christine told me I was too young to be married and I was all like "HUH??  whatchoo talkin' about willis??"  Seriously, I explained  that I was thirty and had two children and had been married for eight years and she said I looked much younger, like 22.  OMG, I almost kissed her.  (I may have...I said free drinks, remember?)  Anyway, both girls were super duper nice. (by the way, I do not say "super duper" in real life.)  I love the songs "I Need You" and "Like We Never Loved At All."  Love those songs.  They are totally on my iTunes.

Oh and I was given a gift at the concert, too. (by our very generous host)

I did get a t-shirt after all.  And there are more pictures, but they are on someone else's computer and that person is in DisneyWorld, so I took a picture of the shirt hanging in my room, rather than showing you a picture of me in the shirt which is kinda better because this way you can't see my rolls hanging over my jeans.  Which is a good thing.

So, there you have it.  Aren't you glad I blogged tonight?